I have often wondered how I went
from being a church-going family man, loving father, devoted son, US Marine,
LDS missionary, paramedic, fire academy instructor, and overall "good
guy", to an addict, felon, and ultimately an inmate serving a near 9 yr
State Prison sentence for a "violent" felony.
What happened? How did I get here?
More importantly, what choices did I make in my life to get me here, and how in
the world do I regain my integrity and return to the man I was? How do I shake
the shame of it all and feel worthy to succeed after causing so much damage to
the ones I love?
This is just one man's story of
how my best laid plans ended up in the dumpster and are replaced by a past
that made me put my head down and humbly admit, "Yup, I did it." It
also is replaced by an unknown future that makes me raise my eyebrows, shrug,
and say, "Dunno, I just know where I DON'T want to be."
This story could probably be put
in book form but, instead, a series of "Life's Lessons" have been
given to me to help me not judge anyone, realize that life is always going to
give you challenges, and help me rebuild myself and help others along the way.
I'm still imperfect. I still have struggles and weaknesses,
however, I can choose each day to go forward with an entirely new perspective
on life and it's obstacles. I have been betrayed and judged, but I have also
been helped and loved by others. I choose to focus on the latter and pay
if forward.
I have lost much, however, with that loss I have also gained a priceless
experience. Experience can be a cruel, yet very effective teacher. My
ensuing posts are intended to document to myself, my family, and all who care
to listen, the lessons I have learned (and am still learning) due to my
addiction and ensuing recovery.
I hope you will stay tuned for
some of the details of what has weakened me, strengthened me, shaped me, and
ultimately will determine my destiny.
Thanks for reading. I am no better
or worse than the next guy. I am just trying to make a difference and give back
a little something.
Gary the Humbled
